Nothing is new

under the sun

So let them continue to have their fun.

But busy ants know

that winter will come

While grasshoppers starve in the cold.

Looking over my notes, clippings, and other idea-starters from the past week, it looks like déjà-vu all over again. Why even bother writing anything new when nothing changes?

Bankruptcies clawed back to a new high after the big rush to beat the stricter new law in 2005. Similarly, home sales dropped after government incentives expired. The Labor Department said employers added 71,000 new jobs last month — far below the 200,000 needed to reduce the unemployment rate, while the census laid off more than 100,000. “The truth is,” the president said, “it’s going to take a few years to fully dig ourselves out of this recession. It’s going to take time to bring back 8 million jobs.” Ho hum. Tell me something I didn’t know.

Most of the Gulf oil has disappeared — or has it? — and Gulf seafood is safe to eat — or is it? Depends on who you ask and what day it is, but nothing changes.

The stock market’s up because of signs the economy is climbing out of the recession, or it’s down on indications that the Great Recession still isn’t over. (The agile creativity of those analysts slays me.)

On the food front, a fourfold increase in reported cases of salmonella resulted in the recall of 228 million eggs. Actually, I found this one rather interesting, for a couple of reasons.

For one thing, all 228 million came from a single company, Wright County Egg, of Galt, Iowa, but with 13 different brands. Talk about an egg factory. The eggs made people sick in Minnesota, Colorado and California. Talk about eating locally. And later that same day the recall was increased to 380 million (that’s nearly 32 million dozen, up from 19 million), with hundreds of consumers sickened in four states. (This morning it’s thousands, in more than a dozen states.)

A news report said the recalled eggs feature Julian dates ranging from 136 to 225. How many people even know what a Julian date is, anymore, or that it’s stamped on egg cartons? (January 1 is 1, December 31 is 365. So 136 is the 136^th day of the year, which in a non-leap year is May 16.) And why are they recalling eggs laid on May 16 in the middle of August? Gives you something to think about — which is why I wrote about such matters in The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Raising Chickens. It has nothing to do with raising chickens, but it might be a good reason to raise them.

Speaking of interesting things many people aren’t aware of, a new survey found that 3 out of 4 Americans believe certain foods are unsafe to eat after the “use by” date stamped on the product. Anyone who has read CIG to Self-Sufficient Living knows that’s not true, and that consumers waste billions of dollars worth of food every year because of their ignorance.

The fact is, you’re more likely to get sick (or die) from fresh foods than from outdated foods. Properly stored dry goods and canned foods can last far beyond their “expiration” date. Anything that goes bad will probably smell and/or look so yucky you won’t need an expiration date to clue you in. (Think of that forgotten mushy black lettuce you dig out of the back of the bottom drawer in the icebox.) The same goes for most frozen foods.

The greater danger is in fresh meat, produce and dairy products, with poultry being the number one culprit. Here cross-contamination (using the same knife and cutting board for raw chicken, and then the salad), temperature control (keep hot foods hot and cold foods cold) and general sanitation are more important than the date.

(The news article only discussed the “use by” date, but the book also explains the meaning of “best before” and “sell by.” “Use by” is the only one worth taking seriously, but even then, use your own judgment.)

Perhaps the most interesting news from Spaceship Earth this week concerned energy. First came a series of reports from the journal Science, looking at not only the many options for renewable energy sources, but at the pros and cons of each. And yes, there are plenty of both pluses and minuses for all alternatives.

In an editorial, editor-emeritus Donald Kennedy pointed out that “The contemporary challenge isn’t that there isn’t enough oil; there is far too much of it.” That’s certainly the case in the Gulf of Mexico today, but he is also talking about emissions from transportation systems, nonrenewable energy sources controlled by empires that threaten global security, and abuses stemming from an overdependence on petroleum.

What about the old homestead idea of cutting back? That came up in another news item, this one about a survey conducted by the Earth Institute at Columbia University asking respondents to name the best ways to conserve energy. The gist of the results: most people thought first of cutting back — turning off the lights, driving less, etc. The researchers said that’s not the right answer. Energy efficiency is more important.

They do have a point, of course. Numerous studies have shown that household-based improvements in energy efficiency would cut emissions way more than fancy government policies such as cap-and-trade. We’re talking about weatherizing homes, using more efficient light bulbs and cars, even little things like changing the air filter in the furnace.

But the part that intrigued me most was the statement that increased efficiency is the only way to dial back, because of basic psychology: we ain’t about to become a nation of pedestrians, let alone do without all our electronic toys and hedonistic possessions.

And they have a point there, too, which is why I’ve been saying nothing much is going to happen until the masses have no choice. When the cheap energy is gone (probably not because we run out of oil, but because it’s not cheap any more), or when the Earth becomes degraded enough to alarm or kill more people, then we might become a nation of pedestrians, simply because there will be no alternatives.

So it was just another normal week on the Spaceship.

Ho hum.

Chickens have been big news in Eau Claire, our nearest “big city” and shopping town. The city council has been debating whether or not to allow raising them in the city. There are strong opinions on both sides.

This week the news got so big it beat out a Supreme Court nomination and the oil spill for that valuable front-page above-the-fold placement in the daily newspaper. Daughter Anne-marie gets home delivery, and emailed us this photo before our paper arrived by snail mail.

Yes, that's me with a chicken on the front page of the May 10 Eau Claire Leader-Telegram. Since "A dog fight on Main St. is more newsworthy than a war in China," the Great Chicken Debate in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, got a better position than the Supreme Court nominee or the Gulf oil spill. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time with the right newly-published book —The Complete Idiot's Guide to Raising Chickens — to get in on the action.

The controversy depresses me, and the issue of having chickens in town is only a part of it. But that part is bad enough.

Why in the world would anyone want to outlaw the soothing clucking of a couple of hens, while yapping crapping dogs are okay? And in some places I’ve been, what about sirens, trains, airplanes, busses, garbage trucks… Come to think of it, is it humane to subject chickens to such human turmoil by raising them in an urban setting?

Why does there have to be a law about such matters? Why can’t neighbors just work it out amongst themselves, if there’s a problem?

Which there shouldn’t be, and in most cases, isn’t. (But a council member dissed anybody who says the officials are wasting their time with such nonsense. That reinforces my policy of never voting for anyone stupid enough to run for public office.)

What is even more depressing — and in a way, frightening — is that issues like these lead to the realization that some people have no idea whatsoever how the real world functions. They have no appreciation for its marvels and beauty, and more significantly, they lack the information required for making the right decisions about utilizing its resources.

Most farm or homestead people who have entertained visitors from the city have some experience with this. Kids, (and in too many cases their parents as well) think milk comes from a factory of some kind, never from a cow or goat. And I’d like to have a nickel for every kid who has watched a cow poop and said, “Yuck! I’m never drinking milk again!”

I have seen children gag, watching me make beautiful, rich, thick and delicious tomato paste with a Victorio strainer. Sure, they eat catsup on everything, but that’s different: that comes from a bottle, not a icky-squishy fresh fruit.

These people are amazed to discover that carrots grow in the ground… with dirt on them. And then there’s Archie Bunker having a fit when Edith said they were having tongue  for supper: “Tongue!? I ain’t eatin’ nuttin’ that came out of a cow’s mouth! Fry me an egg!”

The real problem intensifies when these attitudes are transferred to the wider world. Just as food comes from brightly-lit supermarkets via wonderful factories that are marvels of modern science, gasoline comes from a pump at a filling station. Water comes from a faucet when you turn it on, and electricity arrives through some kind of wiring whenever you flip a switch. It’s all too easy, too simple, too magical to even think about. It’s also predictable and guaranteed… for now.

But of course it results in a disconnect. These people begin to exist, totally and completely, in an artificial world, where the livin’ is easy. They cannot understand, and so they ignore and avoid at all costs the real world, where not all apples are perfect and where death and decay — to say nothing of manure — are hard facts of life.

Little things like being able to identify birds and weeds, watching something edible grow from a tiny dry seed, and seeing first-hand and close-up how eggs are produced, would go a long way toward making people more aware of the world they inhabit. More aware, and therefore, hopefully, more caring. By applying NIMBY (Not In My Backyard) not only to landfills, toxic waste sites and nuclear plants but also to naturalized front lawns, vegetable growing, raising chickens — and nature in general — people become more and more isolated from reality. Allowing nature and all things natural back into our artificial lives is not regressing into primitive living: it makes us more human.

I read this morning that despite the current oil spill, 6 out of 10 people still favor offshore drilling, saying the economic benefits outweigh the environmental dangers. And the Eau Claire city council voted down the chicken ordinance, 8-3. I see a connection.

Sometimes I feel like the old Indian in the tv ad, looking at the ravaged land and cruddy water, and shedding a tear. What more can be done? Humanity will learn, eventually. When all of the breathable air, drinkable water, and fertile soil are gone, they’ll have no choice. Of course, then it will be too late.

The saddest part is, it could have been so wonderful. — Jd Belanger

Friday Evening Note: Several people have told me the picture referred to in the blog posted this morning… isn’t here! My first reaction was “How the dickens did those cagey lawyers do that?” Then son John, the computer professional, said it showed up in Safari, but not Foxfire or Internet Explorer, because those two don’t recognize TIFF images. So I converted it to jpg. It lost something in the translation, but hopefully it will at least show up!

Some people seem to be fascinated by writers and their craft. I don’t know why, and I’m not one of them. But since my latest book — my eighth and no doubt last book — has just come out, it’s National Library Week, and I’m going to be at a “book signing” at the Gilman library this afternoon, this is as close as I’ll ever get to being a big-time author. So it’s a good time to share a few behind-the-scenes stories, which I’m sure every writer has.

Some concern the fabled love-hate relationship writers have with editors and publishers. Since I’ve spent my entire professional life wearing all three hats, I’ve felt relatively immune. Yet, there are moments…

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Raising Chickens was released last week, and I got my author’s copies the other day. (And this book was finished — met the three-alarm red-hot super-important deadline — last July.) One of the first things I noticed was the caption on the first picture, on page 2. “Chickens run wild in many places in the world, even in cities: on the streets, in grocery store parking lots, and sometimes in front of restaurants where a certain colonel is known for chicken of a different kind. Here are some feral chickens in downtown Panama City, Panama.”

Okay. A little bland, but nothing wrong with it — unless you know the whole story.

My point was that raising chickens ain’t rocket science. (Maybe I went overboard on this throughout the book, because the editors seemed to want to make everything 10 times more complicated than it has to be.) There are lots of places where chickens flourish on their own, even where some people try to discourage them, such as Key West Florida and much of Hawaii, as well as places where you’d least expect to see them, such as in front of a KFC. And I had a knock-your-socks-off photo to prove it, thanks to Staci Walker of Danville, Illinois.

The editors (there were seven of them) found the picture as hilarious and fitting as I did. But when they stopped laughing, they said the company lawyers would never go for it.

Not to be thwarted by such a minor detail, I contacted KFC. Their PR people had to run it through legal, of course. But when that all-important deadline came up and I hadn’t heard from them, I had to put some pressure on them. The lawyers tossed off a noncommittal “we will neither license nor give permission to use this photo.”

Well, to me, in lawyer-speak, that simply meant they didn’t want to get stuck okaying the picture. It certainly didn’t say we couldn’t use it. (And how could they stop anyone from showing a picture of an advertising sign, taken on a public sidewalk, anyway?) But I knew the Alpha (Idiot) lawyers would side with their KFC (chicken) colleagues, and with the deadline looming, I decided to fight it with my own (and only) weapon: words.

The cutline I wrote said chickens run wild in many places, even where a certain colonel is known for chicken of a different kind. But I added, “The prissy square-toed lawyers wouldn’t let me show you that picture, but here’s one of some feral chickens in downtown Panama City.” I thought that added a little more punch, and sort of an imaginary visual. But the prissy square-toed editors deleted it.

Here’s Staci Walker’s picture — the one the lawyers didn’t want you to see.

Staci Walker took this picture on Grand Cayman.

By the way, the Panama photo used in the book is credited to David Chase. His name really is Chase Davis. That is most likely my fault, which is another story, but it shows it ain’t easy being an editor.

There’s more — much, much more. I won’t bother mentioning the “contest” they’re running to find the “most popular” Idiot’s Guide. For one thing, I just found out about it, and it ends at midnight tonight (April 16). In addition, it involves becoming a “follower” of @IdiotsGuides on Twitter, which is all Greek to me, and sounds kind of fishy. But that’s nothing, compared to some of the other insider, behind-the-scenes stuff that goes on.

Maybe I should write a book. — Jd Belanger